It Hurts.... but it may be the only way.

I wanted to find a song that best describes how i feel and
sums up what happened between me and you last night.
but I think you've heard all of them.

Honestly if you want to really know where I'm coming from and how I see things.
Listen to St. Elsewhere and The Odd Couple.

read those lyrics.

I know its hard
don't think I don't know that.
don't think I refused to understand you or where you were coming from.
you are a strong person.
you tried to hold it together even though it was falling apart.
you don't find that quality in many people.
but sometimes... when the pieces are shattered.
its best to leave them and move on with ourselves.
instead of staying and getting ourselves hurt in the process.

you were passionate about it.
because you spent so much time invested in it.
you were cheated out of this because of childishness among us.
I have no problem saying I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for how it all happened and I'm sorry I ended up hurting you.
but you don't believe that it was my fault.
or that you didn't hurt me any less.

I didn't believe we were one mind.
I felt like my individuality was being suppressed because of what one person wanted to do.
I couldn't make a move without notifying someone in the group.
I don't like people clocking my every move. I am my own person and I don't have to tell anyone what I do, when I'm doing it or how I'm doing it.
If I believe it won't benefit you, why say anything?
unless I feel like it is something serious, why bother.

when I say that I don't mean to say your unimportant.
that's just the kind of person I am.
you have to understand and not twist around what I'm saying to mean something else.
to mean a hidden message.
when I speak I mean exactly what I say.

I know why this happened.
and it was from awhile back that those feelings were vested.
they were already there and the time came to let them out.
but instead of saying the real reason.
it was blamed on a boy.
point blank.
everything centered around him.
why?
you were my friend.
I wouldn't do you like that.

why didn't you just come to me
that day?
why didn't you just say hello??
whatever you had to do why didn't you just come to me that day.
you never told me, when it happened
how u felt
so I didn't believe I was doing anything wrong
[and i still don't]
I wasn't aware that my actions had hurt you.
because it was said to me in the form of a joke.

believe me when I say this.
I believe in you. I believe you can become something great
I believe you are a true person and a passionate person
someone worth the time of another who will love you deeply with no inhibitions.
don't be scared to let go.
letting go helps us grow and change.
change isn't overrated.
how can we evolve into the person we are meant to be if we continue to hold onto
things that become damaging?

its hard to.
but I've learned that nothing last forever.
every thing must change.
willingly or not.
you cant force change because then it becomes premeditated.
in the back of your mind your always saying "I have to be different"
just let things flow, know when its time.

I truly missed you.
and you were more than special to me.

I put it on everything.
I know you will be more than what you think your meant for.

Love Always...
Sasha.