Fuck people who think they have the right to treat people anyway they feel because their life iss fucked up.
fuck people who belittle others so they can feel better. Your not better your still an asshole and no one will like you. EVER
I hate this muthafucker with a passion.
how you gonna say the reason why the house is like this, is because of the tenants.
No we don't pay cause you don't do shit muthafucker all you care about is your fucking pizzeria and guess wha?

noo I don't like you stop smiling at me when Im in your direction... next time you do Imma flip you the fuck off and curse you out u fucking Kosher weener.

and as for your family they can all eat a used condom.
u dumb muthafuck >[[[[[[[[[

im tight.


Nothing Last Forever.

It is so easy to see
Dysfunction between you and me
We must free up these tired souls
Before the sadness kills us both

I tried and tried to let you know
I love you but I'm letting go
It may not last but I don't know
Just don't know

If you don't know
Then you can't care
And you show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you

With every word whispered
We get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
And nothing lasts forever,
But be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

A bed that's warm with memories
Can heal us temporarily
The misbehaving only makes
The ditch between us so damn deep

Built a wall around my heart
Never let it fall apart
Strangely I wish secretly
It would fall down while I'm asleep

If you don't know
Then you can't care
And you show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you, babe

With every word whispered
We get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
And nothing lasts forever,
But be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

Though we have not hit the ground
It doesn't mean we're not still falling,
Oh I want so bad to pick you up
But you're still too
Reluctant to accept my help
What a shame, I hope you
Find somewhere to place
The blame,
But until then the fact remains...

With every word whispered
We get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
Nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

With every worthless word
We get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
And nothing lasts forever,
But be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

It Hurts.... but it may be the only way.

I wanted to find a song that best describes how i feel and
sums up what happened between me and you last night.
but I think you've heard all of them.

Honestly if you want to really know where I'm coming from and how I see things.
Listen to St. Elsewhere and The Odd Couple.

read those lyrics.

I know its hard
don't think I don't know that.
don't think I refused to understand you or where you were coming from.
you are a strong person.
you tried to hold it together even though it was falling apart.
you don't find that quality in many people.
but sometimes... when the pieces are shattered.
its best to leave them and move on with ourselves.
instead of staying and getting ourselves hurt in the process.

you were passionate about it.
because you spent so much time invested in it.
you were cheated out of this because of childishness among us.
I have no problem saying I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for how it all happened and I'm sorry I ended up hurting you.
but you don't believe that it was my fault.
or that you didn't hurt me any less.

I didn't believe we were one mind.
I felt like my individuality was being suppressed because of what one person wanted to do.
I couldn't make a move without notifying someone in the group.
I don't like people clocking my every move. I am my own person and I don't have to tell anyone what I do, when I'm doing it or how I'm doing it.
If I believe it won't benefit you, why say anything?
unless I feel like it is something serious, why bother.

when I say that I don't mean to say your unimportant.
that's just the kind of person I am.
you have to understand and not twist around what I'm saying to mean something else.
to mean a hidden message.
when I speak I mean exactly what I say.

I know why this happened.
and it was from awhile back that those feelings were vested.
they were already there and the time came to let them out.
but instead of saying the real reason.
it was blamed on a boy.
point blank.
everything centered around him.
you were my friend.
I wouldn't do you like that.

why didn't you just come to me
that day?
why didn't you just say hello??
whatever you had to do why didn't you just come to me that day.
you never told me, when it happened
how u felt
so I didn't believe I was doing anything wrong
[and i still don't]
I wasn't aware that my actions had hurt you.
because it was said to me in the form of a joke.

believe me when I say this.
I believe in you. I believe you can become something great
I believe you are a true person and a passionate person
someone worth the time of another who will love you deeply with no inhibitions.
don't be scared to let go.
letting go helps us grow and change.
change isn't overrated.
how can we evolve into the person we are meant to be if we continue to hold onto
things that become damaging?

its hard to.
but I've learned that nothing last forever.
every thing must change.
willingly or not.
you cant force change because then it becomes premeditated.
in the back of your mind your always saying "I have to be different"
just let things flow, know when its time.

I truly missed you.
and you were more than special to me.

I put it on everything.
I know you will be more than what you think your meant for.

Love Always...



I just heard about Jennifer Hudson's Mother and Brother.
They were murdered in their own homes in Inglewood.

for the full story you can check it out here.
I don't know why but this is horrific.

It ties in with domestic disputes between Jennifer's sister Julia's ex-husband.
really though?

this isn't even funny.


My Verse

if this is it please let me know
if this aint love you better let me go

cause i dont have time for the games we play
and i was never that good at chess anyway
best believe when i leave im taking what
i had given to you.
material cause, time spent cant be renewed.
borrowed or return.
a lesson learned in love we dug a hole to grow
what could've been a slow assured sign of affection
but im still guessing
that if i paid more attention to the signs than
the lies that u bought me
u can't fault me or blame me
switch the game around
would you complain..no ?
see i didn't wanna notice the ugly truth
cause the pretty lies kept me paralyzed
immobile with the mobile global to global
n i couldn't front on the clothes that make those
without it doubt it... i chose to be about it.

thats bout it .

...this isn't my first time spittin but i do need to improve lol.
i know i got potential been on this shit since i was 15


Oh Shit D'angelo

surfin the web and i hear D'angelo tryna make a comeback...
people saying he was getting a trainer... i didn't know he was fat!!??!!??

remeber this? .... i do :]

ummm WTF??!!...
how does it feel"
went to,
" what does it taste like? "



Videums pt.2

and i love it :].

remeber this one?

If This Is It - Huey Lewis And The News

i kno it was my jam too.

right now im banging head to thiis.

Game Got Switched - Ludacris


lmfaoo on these two



Little Things

I'm not the kind of person who shows much emotion.

and thats because I'm part Aquarius, jamaican, and cyborg.
but anyways
I really hate to be in a vulnerable position, or [fuck its hard to concentrate =[ T-pain new song is playing and it makes me wanna pop and lock mane.. btw: Freeze ft. Chris Brown. yep def buying his album]
 ok so neway neway  I usually try to not let things get to me. or let people know they got to me.
but the stupidest shit makes me sad.

some examples.

1.  when i send a text message to a new friend or old friend on myspace... and i don't get a response back. i don't know it just burns.

2.  or if I'm on aim and we're having a conversation and i write like a essay and you answer back five minutes later with a "lol" or "ok".

3.  or when i see a woman with a stroller going up the subway stairs, [It's always the D train too] and no one helps... and then im like fuck. i don't wanna help I've been on my feet all day :\

4.  when i see moms hitting their little kids and you know it wasn't even that serious the mom is just stressed and you would say something but she will curse you out and continue hittin the child in the process.

5.  kids in mcdonalds who don't realize that the dollar menu isn't actually a dollar. the look in 
thier eyes just hits me right here ::points to heart::

6.  making a bowl of cereal and there's no milk. :[

7.   people who don't know me and then decide to judge me based on other people's assumptions of me. like i know you shouldn't give a fuck what people think. and i am adament about it. but after a while.  it comes back to you on a rainy day.

that's it so far..
umm i would make a list of what doesn't hurt my feelings but ehh.

SIDETRACK!!!:::>>>  remeber the cartoon network groovies??
yo those were my shits omg. Jabber Jaws and Josie and the Pussycats... funny as hell lol.

www.google.com type in cn groovies go to videos..

[my tutorial is banging riiight??]

lata bout to eat coco tea and crackers



I spent my check wisely this week. [which in my opinion should be commended]

i figured i like to spend.. so might as well buy shit I need.

like underwear and toiletry...
umm... thas bout it..

lata till this weekend :]



Videums !

Well here it is....
Chopped N Skrewed.... w/ Ludacris

...i guess i still like the song.. i like the concept he's going for.. but I wasn't feeling the video..

and B's new video for Single Ladies [Put A Ring On It]
and... If I were a Boy

For real... this girl has amazing talent.. and for people to denie that and say ohh its over the top and just some ol gyrations, it obvious that they don't want to give props where props are due.
you don't have to like someone to acknowledge that they have talent.
Jigga man hold on to this one yep yep.


Fun Night

after tourin the whole bronx today.

decided to chill witht he main squeeze D.
had od fun
and OMG
okay so we were on the train right and we decided to switch iPods and raid em.
so this man comes on in this tight ass Billie Jean Thrill'em jacket with a red shirt and tight ass pants [lmao]
that's not the point though.

so all the while i really really gotta pee.!!

so we come across a Mickey Dee's
and its the one right on 42nd not the big flashy light one... the one in the corner with glass mirrors everywhere.

so I'm walking into McDonalds and David's behind me
I'm looking in the glass mirror like [lol] deadass like "damn i look mad good tonight, oh yes you can get it!"

and when i turn around *BOOM*
I smashed right into the glass door
i swear it was like a full force punch to the face.

and luckily it was glass so everyone inside saw my dumbass
David was like "oooOoo shit"....
"you okay??" *some seconds past* "ahahahahahahaha"

i fell over and started whaling. like when i stabbed my forhead in the corner of my t.v. stand.
when i went into the McDonalds this frumpy looking family oogled my swollen forehead and started smirking [lol]
i couldn't stop smiling and i swear i was so embarrassed... it hurt.

sooo newho it was really fun
we went to virgin mobile and played XBOX 360

Naruto: Rise of a Ninja

omg o_o
that game is so sexy :]
D claims hes going to get it... so that means i will be buying a controller and playing lol
but yea. that was my Saturday.

ooo y home slice Dominick's artwork

he nice for real yo!!

out 'till lata



so I've been avoiding the fact that I hate my damn glasses...
iono i used to love em buh now i gotta resentment towards them, n now i walk around 
blindly bumpin into blunt objects :\

n have people forever ask me, "why are you squinting so much?"

cause i can't see shit, n my eyes are chinkii on the regular.

sooo... im going to be purchasing a new pair of frames soon.
n there going to be Moscot's 

i have no idea where or what i was doing when i came across these but oh well.
imma have a pair mmmhmm.

-----backtrack oh yea

i was at work and this skinny dude comes in and he has on these glasses that are so fucking killer i didn't even mind he gave me a coupon for an Angus and order a Southern Style Chicken as a trade off. :\

i think these were his.



......n im hooked again
my bran nu shit mane

Miguel - Quickie.

this is the sexiest song ever.
he's talking about a quickie [duh] and he makes it sound like the best

makes me wanna list some shit

1. I neeeeeeed some love and affection. [not the fam type]
2. I sometimes miss the old guys ::sigh:: honestly.
3. Am I intimidating??
4. All jokes aside... i need it
5. It can refer to anything... [if ur stupid :\]

... I heard it on this girls myspace. HotShit.




Son Phelps


i can't post the do it so yall can see so click here lol


i smell like McDonalds grease :|

im surprised people just don't avoide me on the way home :o


Love Lockdown + UMC

kanYe vid for Love Lockdown.
...when he performed this shit at the VMA's i wanted to attack the t.v.

im sorry... it was so trash :\
...yea i said it kanYe stans.

but w.e. here's the vid.

..."if you really wanna party with me..."

and Common's U.M.C

lol my babes a robot.

e vids are interesting... thats bout it.


idk. she just looks like thats what she would be yelling.

B.A.M.F. out >:\
u Schmell, U DiGGG!!!


scmooo :]

...feel a whole lot better today yep.

werk was hella boring but ehh,
i got some pics to sufice :]

my manager and elizabeth =]
she just became manager tooo soo proud <3

my G.M. and my manager :]

Storm and Mari in the cocina

Meme, Unique, and Elizabeth :]

Chaco & me lol.

>>cheesin' dumb hard<<

umm other than that i was in the house chillin oooooo
-----almost forgot

today is my sisters first day of work :o
a restaurant in Brooklyn.
>>fine cuisine<<
i hope she does well. she was nervous as shit from what sumra tells me
::shrugs:: oh well.. she always makes miracles so she'll be fine mmm hmm.

okie pokes more later on


Happy Birthday..i guess

Umm yesterday was my friend's birthday.
...i promised I'd go chill with her and her friends since last week.

so i go and were [were meaning me and her other friend] in her house for like mad long.
from 7 to 10:30
all the while her friends are buggin' out for her to hurry the hell up.

when we leave we end up eating at Dallas over by Astor.

something about Dallas... like their food taste good, but its not there yet.
her friends are... okay. idk one of them was doing that thing where everyone is automatically friends and we say anything about them.

like me Amanda and her friend, were the only black ones there and all of her friends are Asian.
so one of her friends are like ..

"oh hey yall can form a trio. Amanda can be Jennifer Hudson, she can be Kelly Rowland, and you can be Fantasia Barrino."

..Mad Jolly with it too.

I'm like woah... you can be Sagwa.

...i don't really do that so it was kinda awkward.
but w.e.

we had cake.. some mango flan/cheesecake type shit. o.o [i didn't eat it]
and chocolate moose cake ...its a kind of cake you eat when Mr. Pep. makes a visit or your just down in the dumps.

anyway afterwards we go to one of Amander's friend's friend's house and get a little bit.. erm smacked.
idk what was in that shit. but i was buggin the hell out like. it felt like everything i was doing was in fast motion or slow motion, but everyone else was moving at regular pace.

and when i moved it was like a scene out of Reefer Madness.
it kind of felt like the Scream video with Mike and Janet.
everything i touched felt amplified by like 1000 times. all my senses were so acute :o
this must be what its like to be Superman. [that sneaky bastard >:]
its a weird feeling cuz its like things are moving and your real self is watching, but can only do so much with intoxicated body parts.

things were changing colors. doors specifically. kind of like walking on air is how i felt.
i knew what was happpening but i didn't know.

I think i put my ipod on and it was Aaliyah - Rock the Boat.
I coulda sworn she was right next to me singing that song with an amplifier. so loud :O

Anywho Amanda's friend hailed me a cab and I was on my way home.
20 bucks from 110th to 196th ...shiiiiit.
it was a lady cab driver and she was really nice. idk if she knew but she was kind [thank God]

i was acting a damn fool by the time i entered my crib.
Had no idea what time it was, I know my lil sis was up though.

basically i kept making noise and Sumra told mom and mom got mad and i was still confused.
and she said got to bed so i did.
all in all i feel bad cause my mom woke up and got really pissed off at me.

it really sucks when people are dissapointed in you or think less of you, than before.
:[ like its worse than them yelling at you.
or punishing you.
your getting treated like an adult, by someone who always treated you as a child.
Idk how to explain it.
but it really really sucks...

Moral of story.
If you must do so, let it be with people you know.

oo yea btw , i kept doing the robot. :\

1 <3


Eagle Eye

Hi Guys =D

went to the movies Tuesday to see Eagle Eye
my baby can act ;}

mmm he just oozes sheckzy.

Emily had the optimum free tickets stuff..
and the whole shit was packed.
so we walked.

Me, Gramos, and Elmo =D
i bet u couldn't tell we were related LOL

...that bag looks delicious.

honestly that movie was pretty good.

but the Wendy's we ate OMG..
i don't know what kind of unholy garbage we purchased but omg.
it was nasty.

mad stinky and dried up and lopsided.
believe me .. once you've had
McDonalds fries nothing compares..

ummm... you kinda see my hair in that pic right.
all in all it was a good day.

one thing I like is how when spontaneity hits.
people are down.

fun times.
[nana took the pic.. so yea lol. she's still there though.]

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