I'm not saying im addicted

You have to know yourself as a person.
You have to understand what are the ugly things about you that you don't want others to know or see, and embrace that.
Make it apart of you and not dismiss it as if it doesn't ecist because that leads to guilt and hatred.
For example, people who may be gay or bi- and do not agree with this sensation they're having. Will lash out or defend; based on how they are at a openly gay person or people.

If you dont embrace you for you fully, then it will be a facade you wear.

I brought this up because LAST NITE had to be the craziest experience I've ever had.
Another thing. I think I'm meant to smoke weed.
Not even on some crackhead shit where "I NEED it man!", but more or less smoke it to open my eyes even more to the shit that goes on around me.
I feel that if I was sober that night. I wouldn't have been able to see all the details of what was going on with my sister and my close friend. Not had been able to see how it could've been fatal.

Weed is officially my best friend.

Another thing.
My job I got the only life lesson on friday.
My boss is so deep. I wish her and my mother could have a conversations of the mind.
I wouldn't mind recording that and putting it on this blog for all to view.

I think I have a huge fascination or better yet deep love for those who can express themselves and stay by what they believe.
It is the most attractive trait of a human being.

Another thing. This blogging shit seems like too much work. For the lil appreciation.
I love to read others blog and that good shit. But its losing substance. Everytime I go check a blog we talking about the same shit.
Money Cash Clothes and Hoes.
I need a vaca from this shit.
..I think imma plan a blogger cypha.
Most ya'll on here smoke or drink or something so we should plan a trip together.
Wouldn't that be nice?

UGHH SASHA...UR LAME!!!!!

SO I OFFICIAL CONSENT TO BEING THE ULTIMATE LAME!.

IN THE SENSE THAT I PREACH ALL THIS GOOD SHIT ABOUT .

."YEA DONT BEG FOR A NIGGA!"
AND
"IF HE DONT CALL U FUCK THAT DUCHE BAG"
AND
"OOO I GOT FLOWS TOO... U JUST ONE OF MANY!!"

...I AM ASHAMED TO SAY ALL THAT LOGIC WAS KNOCKED DOWN. JUST LIKE KERI HILSON... I WAS KANYE SMASHED TO PIECES.! >:[

OKAY SO ITS LIKE THIS..REMEMBER WHEN I GAVE YALL A LIL EXCERPT OF ME AND A BOY FROM HIGH SCHOOL HOOKING UP AND KICKING IT??

WELL SATURDAY I WENT OUT WITH MY GUY D. AND FOR SOME REASON THE WOMAN IN ME DECIDED IT WAS TIME TO UNLEASH WOMANLY FURRY UPON THIS NIGGA.

FOR THE TIME BEING WE CAN CALL HIM MUPPET.

HERE'S THE CONVO. VIA TEXT MESSAGE!

ME: U KNOW U A CLOWN FOR REAL RIGHT?

MUPPET: YEA [BLAH BLAH SOME SMART COMMENT...FORGOT B/C ME IN A RAGE DELETED ALL HIS MESSAGES TODAY!!!!]

ME: WHY YOU HAVEN'T HIT ME UP??

MUPPET: I WAS GOING TO BUT I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY..

*ROLLS EYES*

ME: U NEED A TOPIC TO TALK TO ME?

.....5 MINUTES OF NO REPLY.. [IN THE TEXTING WORLD THAT'S FOREVERMORE]

ME: DON'T TREAT ME LIKE A F**KING FLOW A**HOLE...
[A LITTLE BRASH?]

MUPPET: DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT PLEASE.

ME: DON'T TALK TO ME AT ALL.

AND THE ACADEMY AWARD FOR OVERLY DRAMATIC GOES TO!!

BUT I HAD GOOD CAUSE MAN!

LAST TIME I SAW MUPPET WAS THURSDAY RIGHT?

HE HASN'T SPOKEN TO ME, HIT ME UP, OR ANYTHING UNTIL SATURDAY WEN I INITIATED IT.

TOADY'S TUESDAY AND HE STILL DIDN'T HIT ME UP OR ANYTHING... SMH

SOOOO

LIKE THE LAME P**SY I AM... I HIT HIM WITH A TEXT.
UGHHH I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE.
LIKE THERE WERE SO MANY SIGNS.
IT WOULDN'T SEND FOR MAD LONG... AND I KEPT TYPING IT WRONG.
THE GODS WERE TRYING TO SAVE ME THE EMBARRASSMENT BUT NOOOO
I JUST HAD TO DO IT.
AND WHAT MAKES IT WORSE. 10 MINUTES LATER NO REPLY.. THEN I SENT ANOTHER TEXT.

"WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS BITCH?" *SIDE EYE*..

I KNOW I FEEL LIKE THE ONLY DICK FACE BUT URGGHKLE.. I CAN'T HELP IT :[

HONEST TO GOD THAT WAS THE ONLY SEMI-....RELATIONSHIP??? I HAD EVER.
EVER!!! AND IT LASTED A GOOD WEEK.

OMG.

I AM A TOTAL AND COMPLETE LAME ASS BIT*H.
SMH I TOLD MY SIS AND SHE AGREES.

*POUTS*

AND THE WORST PART IS.
HE NOT EVEN THAT SERIOUS!!!
I COULD UNDERSTAND IF HE LOOKED LIKE...CHRIS PINE >:]

LIKE FOR ME TO EVEN BE FEIGNING OR REALLY SWEATING OVER
HE SOME REGULAR NIGGA..
IF NOT KIND WEIRD LOOKING.

BUT HE GOT GAME..AND APPARENTLY MUCH FLOW.
[HE MADE THAT APPARENT WHEN HE WAS TALKING
ON THE PHONE TO THEM WHILE I WAS DEPARTING.]

...ITS TOMORROW.. AND HE STILL DIDNT HIT ME BACK. I HAVE A FEELING IM GOING TO SEE HIM TOMORROW... AND IMMA BE A REAL SNOOTY BISH ABOUT IT.

...IF I DONT BREAK DOWN RIGTH THERE ON THE MCDONALDS FLOOR.. :[


OUTT.....LAME BISH..

Is it any wonder why?....

Am I wrong if Iive in the bronx and I buy a pair of Pradas?

Am I wrong if I work at McDonalds and buy designer jeans?

Am I wrong if I chose to use my money, to get material things because I know in the future..Im going to be succesful?

Is it wrong for me to admire the things everybody else has
... and to secretly desire them?

Is it wrong for you to feel bad for your friend because they don't have it like that and you do?

Is it wrong for wanting to be accepted?

Is it wrong to feel strongly for something, others believe to be nonsensical?

.... I just wanted to know.


xxXXxx

on another note..

wtf is wrong with my blog... why is my "about me" and everything else...located at the bottom of my page??

if anyone knows the problem can u please help a G out... like
this shit is confusing :\

n i failed cisco in highschool .. so nuffin technical kk.

:]