20.4.10

Nothing Personal

So in time I've come to realize that when a male and a female don't establish from the get go the
premise of the relationship beforehand, it can get complicated, and confusing.
If for instance in the case of a female, when she has no relative interest in the male as far as just
being friends, yet it wasn't interpreted by the male that way, then it can come off as the first stages of a romantic relationship. The male can take it out of context and see it for something its not.
But whose to blame?
Nobody, or both sides?
The signs male and females send can be as clear as day for the individual relaying them, but candlelit to the person reciving. I'm talking about the labels we don't give relationships in the beginning.
In my experience it has occured more often than not, that what really isn't there, can be confused for just that, because acts of kindness, genuine interest, and fondness are misinterpreted for more than what they are
I guess unless you have grown up with that person, thats incomprehendable.
I had to take a step back and see for myself that I was at fault for not being tactful in the beginning stages of getting to know someone, and having that person thinking otherwise.
And its a sad feeling when the one who is let down is someone you care about.
But again, whose to blame? Nobody really. You can't say it isn't a sticky situation when that person vebalizes his/her interest for you, and you don't share the same feelings. It hurts, and if you say it doesn't, "you lying :\"
Especially when you have the understanding that "we're just friends"and interpreting actions to be understood as mutual feelings, then the bomb gets dropped.
When trying to establish a bond for years to come, that support system that so many of us are missing, friendships can become jeopardized if both parties aren't on the same page.
No one enjoys rejection, and its even worse when the rejector was unaware of the feelings the rejectee had, on top of that person being someone special.
When every things said and done, do those feelings ever go away, or are they laying in wait ?
The friendship that emerges out of mutual understanding, and growing to care for each other do those feelings take shape once more within the person?
Platonic male and female relationships are never really free from physical desire, because human nature will one day have you thinking about what that person looks like naked, or what it would be like to be with them.
Even if only for a fleeting second, these thoughts aren't wrong, its just natural.
It seems like as I'm getting older ,and becoming a woman, the relationship vernacular between friends and I will have to change, and affection and admiration will either be seen as 'one love' or 'hot sex on a platter'
If there aren't any boundaries, and for lack of a better word, 'labels' to established roles in friendships, can things that go unsaid cause damage that cannot be undone?
Communication is key, and I have to get Bilingual in my case. Both verbal and physical.
Actions speak louder than words, but words get to the point.

1 comment:

Leave it

Play Counts

Free Web Counter
sike