Nothing Personal

So in time I've come to realize that when a male and a female don't establish from the get go the

premise of the relationship beforehand, it can get complicated, and confusing.

If for instance in the case of a female, when she has no relative interest in the male as far as just

being friends, yet it wasn't interpreted by the male that way, then it can come off as the first stages of a romantic relationship. The male can take it out of context and see it for something its not.

But whose to blame?

Nobody, or both sides?

The signs male and females send can be as clear as day for the individual relaying them, but candlelit to the person reciving. I'm talking about the labels we don't give relationships in the beginning.

In my experience it has occured more often than not, that what really isn't there, can be confused for just that, because acts of kindness, genuine interest, and fondness are misinterpreted for more than what they are

I guess unless you have grown up with that person, thats incomprehendable.

I had to take a step back and see for myself that I was at fault for not being tactful in the beginning stages of getting to know someone, and having that person thinking otherwise.

And its a sad feeling when the one who is let down is someone you care about.

But again, whose to blame? Nobody really. You can't say it isn't a sticky situation when that person vebalizes his/her interest for you, and you don't share the same feelings. It hurts, and if you say it doesn't, "you lying :\"

Especially when you have the understanding that "we're just friends"and interpreting actions to be understood as mutual feelings, then the bomb gets dropped.

When trying to establish a bond for years to come, that support system that so many of us are missing, friendships can become jeopardized if both parties aren't on the same page.

No one enjoys rejection, and its even worse when the rejector was unaware of the feelings the rejectee had, on top of that person being someone special.

When every things said and done, do those feelings ever go away, or are they laying in wait ?

The friendship that emerges out of mutual understanding, and growing to care for each other do those feelings take shape once more within the person?

Platonic male and female relationships are never really free from physical desire, because human nature will one day have you thinking about what that person looks like naked, or what it would be like to be with them.

Even if only for a fleeting second, these thoughts aren't wrong, its just natural.

It seems like as I'm getting older ,and becoming a woman, the relationship vernacular between friends and I will have to change, and affection and admiration will either be seen as 'one love' or 'hot sex on a platter'

If there aren't any boundaries, and for lack of a better word, 'labels' to established roles in friendships, can things that go unsaid cause damage that cannot be undone?

Communication is key, and I have to get Bilingual in my case. Both verbal and physical.

Actions speak louder than words, but words get to the point.

LIARS!!

One thing I hate most than anything.... LIARSS!!!

I'd rather you steal from me, than lie to my face. I can easily tell what you stole but a lie is hard to find.

So I met up with one of my school mates yesterday. Everything was cool.

He was telling me what he been doing, and vice versa. We came upon the topic of rap which tthen I told him

"...I rap too!"

"well go ahead and spit something"

*does her lil thing...

"oo that was fiyah!!"

Anyway he goes on to say that Cory Gunz battled one of my friends.

Super Sideeye

I knew it was a lie , almost as if he was tryna down my friend and big up Cory.. in some way to look better. I brushed off that one.

But as we start talking more his stories sounded weirder and weirder.

The NEXT day I ask my friend just to make sure... he like nah he never battled Cory.

i hit up Dude. He like ooo Cory battled everyone. and fuck it though we in here with him right now. Me and my friend.

"oo word? Take a pic lemme see so I can put it on my blog."

No answer for like 10 mins.

In text time that is super fishy.

He comeback with someting like oo the nigga was like chill so I said fuck it and w.e.

MAN DO I LOOK LIKE A DUMMY??

that is the only turn-off especially if I just met you. In a long while. keep it fresh and honest. smh horrible.

I don't want to associate with those types... just keep it 100.

That is all I ask.

WALKING VERSUS DOIING STUFF MANG..

I HAD MEANT TO POST THIS AWHILE BACK BUT, ONE THING LED TO ANOTHER AND I FORGOT.

IT WAS A SUBJECT THAT IS TOUCHY AND WHEN PEOPLES REAL FEELINGS AND PERSPECTIVES ARE LET OUT. ITS ALMOST TABOO TO EVEN THINK ABOUT THINKING THAT WAY.

ANYWAY TO THE POINT!.

I'M NOT SURE BUT LETS SAY A WEEK BACK A FELLOW BLOGGER HAD HIT ME UP ON MYSPACE USING THAT I.M. THING.

ANYWAY I WAS ASKED IF I HAD GONE TO THE AIDS WALK?

I REPLIED.

ME: NO...FOR WHAT?

THEY WERE LIKE WHAT?? TO BENEFIT PEOPLE WITH AIDS AND HELP FIND A CURE.!

ME: ....AND?

BASICALLY LEMME BREAK THIS DOWN.

I HOLD CERTAIN THINGS TRUE TO ME AND I WILL STAND FOR A CAUSE I BELIEVE IN.

I WILL ALSO PARTICIPATE IN SOMETHING I BELIEVE WILL BENEFIT THOSE WHO NEED IT.

AS FOR THAT AIDS WALK... I CANNOT BRING MYSELF TO PAERICIPATE.

DONT THINK IM CRUEL BUT I JUST BELIEVE THAT IF WE CAN SPEND THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS ORGANIZING IT AND ADVERTISING IT, MERCHANDISE AND ALL THESE OTHER MIDDLEMEN THAN WHY CAN'T WE JUST USE ALL THE MONEY WE JUST BLEW FOR ALL OF THAT.

AND SEND IT INTO THESE LABS SO THEY CAN FIND A CURE?

PUT IT LIKE THIS.

PEOPLE HAVE BEEN WALKING FOR AIDS FOR MANY YEARS.

AND EVEN AFTER ALL THOSE YEARS, AFTER ALL THOSE BILLIONS OF DOLLARS.

WE STILL DON'T HAVE A CURE???

OR AT LEAST A SUBSTITUTE NOTHING AT ALL? NO KIND OF PROGRESS ??

I FEEL LIKE ITS NONSENSE THEN.

MAYBE IF IT WAS MORE OF A HANDS ON WAY OF HELPING WHERE IM ACTUALLY SEEING AND DOING THINGS THAT I CAN SEE FOR MYSELF IS HELPING.

LIKE FEEDING THE HUNGRY AND HOMELESS OR GIVING AWAY CLOTHING TO FAMILIES IN NEED, OR SENDING MONEY GRAMS TO THOSE WHO NEED IT SO WHEN THEY OPEN THEIR MAIL THEY HAVE A CHECK FOR WHATEVER SUM OF MONEY. SO THEY CAN CASH IT!!

LIKE I WANT TO DO SOMETHING WHERE I CAN SEE THE PROGRESS OF MY HELP.

BUT IF YOU GONNA HAVE ME WALKING UP AND DOWN MANHATTAN FOR HOWEVER LONG AND ALL I GET TO SEE IS SWEATY STINK PEOPLE, AND CRUSHED UP DIXIE CUPS, THEN NO!

IF ALL I GET TO SEE IS THE 11'0CLOCK NEWS DOCUMENTING ...PEOPLE WALKING!! THEN NO

I'M NOT WALKING FOR SHIT!

FUCK THAT.

TO ME IT SEEMS LIKE A DAMN GIMMICK...

LIKE SOME TOM FOOLERY .

IM NOT KNOCKING THOSE WHO DO DO THESE EVENTS, FOR THEM I AM HAPPY IF IT MAKES THEM HAPPY.

JUST DONT COME AT ME LIKE IM WIERD.. BECAUSE I CHOOSE TO NOT WALK. AND YOU DONT LIKE MY BELIEFS

THATS HOW I AM.

I DONT KNOW HOW SASHA FIERCE WOULD REACT BUT... THIS IS HOW SASHA DOES IT.

I'D RATHER BE ON THE COMITTEE WHO HELPS FIND THE CURE, OR BE THE NURSE IN THE HOSPITAL THAT TENDS TO THE SICKLY.

THAN WALK A BLOCK AND GO HOME.

...I THINK IM JUST MORE OF A HANDS ON TYPE OF GIRL...

ME SIGNING OUT...

McDonalds Rant

Remeber.. how back when I first started this blog..

i just used to talk  about McDonalds.. well heres a blast from the past.

ADVENTURES IN MICKEY DEEZZZZ..[nuts]

Now maybe its me.

But honestly I think people become stupider when they are put in front of customer service.

Like they feel as if they are smarter than you because your job is to serve, but in turn because of thier arrogance, they become dumb.

[my philosphy.]

Anyway back to the story.

So im in Front D/T right and it was last week friday this happened.

The weather man said it was going to be a snow storm at 9 right.

9 came and passed and it was not any snow at all.

so im like.. [u dumb shit]

then it was od snow out of nowhere.

but b4 all that bullshit.

it was raining I believe.

This elderly couple drives thru orders 2 decaf coffees and  pays their money.

Now I go to make thier coffees and have it sitting on the inside of the drive thru waiting for their elderly ass to hurry the hell up and get em.

as soon as I see them pull up I open up the window with the quickness and hand them the coffees.

Mind you it is already raining and mad cold liquids are sprinklings on me and it feels like ice picks.

The old dude rolls down the window. and I swear before the window is visible enough to pass his nose he barks out 

"Bag!"

.....

[for those of you who are virgins to the ways of mcdonalds.. we have drink bags that we hand out to customers who have two drinks or more, usually we don't do this in drive thru because. you have a fucking car with cup holders.]

So I'm looking at him like "you old crusty fart."

now at first I was going to put the coffees in the bag and hand it to them but I was like

"no"

"these bum-ass custy's think they can get away with anything they like. Think they can just demand things rudely as if im not human. as if its not below fucking zero in sum freezin ass weather, while they got on coats and car heaters.!"

"goddamnit NO!"

So I turn around and Hand them the plastic bag  "here"

He looks me as if I committed the ultimate sin.

"what?!" he replied.

"Here..." I said handing him the plastic bag looking directly into his eyes..

"Uhm your supposed to put it in".. the old lady bag next to him says.

"No, Im not, its a courtesy. You have hands right?"

"The manger always puts it in, when I ask"  The old man replies with a snort.

a scowl was growing on the face of the woman next to him.

probably growing impatient at the girl in the black mcdonalds hat and the breezy rain through her window.

So we go back and forth and in the end I jus say ..."man fuck it" I put the coffees in the bag and continue to smile.. hand them the bag and smile with a "Have A Nice Day"

The man takes his coffees, gives me one last look before the window actually closes and shouts out.

"You fucking dumbass!"

I push the window back open and shout to the man and his wife 

"FUCK YOU TOO, I HOPE U CHOKE U OLD BASTARD!!"

and close the window.

He continued to curse, but I was satisfied with my comeback.

The moral of the story is children,

when people are assholes for no damn reason, 

and you think maybe its because of the seasons,

and you try your best to put on a smile,

but they just irk u no matter what all the while.

just take my advice when they wanna get smart,

"listent o me mother fucker I'm just playing a part, 

in the big scheme of things I'm meant for more.

So take ya decaf coffee and split for the door.

you old ass bastard..."

Some Random Thoughts

I have a Mac....this ain't photobucket

Sasha is M.I.A

I'm back bitches...

She's sufferin' The McChicken Syndrome...sumtimes she come home smellin' like grease LMAO

Some Thoughts....

A few things on my mind

...Jesus krispy kreme I 'm sorry I don't have a billion pictures of Josh and me doing lovey dovey shit on myspace

like kissing

sitting on a couch

watching tv...

making breakfast...

taking out the trash..

sleeping...

breathing...

blinking

I jus don't have a camera with me for these moments and really who gives a hot shits?! I mean its a relationship...you know private.

Get the camera ready honey, I'm about to take a shit

Why the hell are ppl so racist when commenting on shit on blogs,youtube.etc...If you really think about it. If you don't think black people aren't people and we're "monkeys" why are you leaving comment to "monkeys" aren't you the dumbass talking to monkeys?!

Why bother to hate...I mean aren't you the same people making movies bout aliens and humans and have the same scenario. In the end the aliens wanted to destroy the human race because of our potential to out do them? hint*..... HINT** ...........FUCKING HINT*****

Oprah is gay....I don't care what anyone says ....so is Queen Latifah, Missy Elliot, that dude with the cornrows from Day 26

Why does Cassie get a top knotch video and she can't sing and I have to witness Danity Kane and their cheap ass wigs for "Bad Girl" video?!!!!

Diddy is a thief...think about all the artists that made it nowhere with him. It's a long fucking list unless he ressurects B.I.G from his grave, now take that, take that

Wat's with all this do it yourself graphic design....everyone thinks they're an artist caust they work some photobucket tools! *blank stare*

I want to be a graphic Designer and people look at me like that's not a job anyone can do that...WRONG!

You know when you see a shiteous movie only cause the poster and trailer was hot...I'll be responsible for that.

When you decorating your pics with filters and cool fonts...I'll be the one making those things, so you two cent "artists" can feel like you did something extraordinary.


Peace.
Aim synonyx4000
We can talk bout life, promise not to bite
I really am a angel...most of the time.

Your A Nigger Too

So Yesterday morning i head into work.. and
Imani was on register when this hispanic guy comes in..
and orders
Hispanic Guy: Yea.. lemme get the 2 for five.

Imani: Huh?

Hispanic Guy: The 2 for 5... 2 for 5 you know that thing in your window...the speacial whatever it is chicken biscuit thing.

Imani: *searches her screen* Sasha come here for a minute.

Me: Yea

Imani: Where's the 2 for 5 Chicken Biscuit?

Me: *Scans screen and presses 2 for 3 Sausages McMuffin*

Me and her argue for a little as I explain.. theres no such thing a s achicken biscuit speacial...we ask if he wants the 2 for 3 special. He's like yeah whatever.

Imani: $3.25

Me: *puts his food on the counter* Have a GoodMorning sir.

Hispanic Guy: *looks at the food like it grew a head and started breakdancing. Picks up the bag and toss it back towards the counter* I want it fresh.

Imani: Those are fresh. they just came up.

Hispanic Guy: No... fresch from the kicthen the cocina fresch.

Imani: Its the morning. we just made those.

Hispanic Guy: *blank stare*

Me: Sir Those are fresh. its morning they just made them, like ten seconds before you came in.

Hispanic Guy: *to Imani* either you give me them fresh.. or I go in there .[or some ol bullshit like that]

So at this point my manager comes to the counter and ask what's wrong. Me and Imani tell her what happens and the guy continues to say I want it fresh from the cocina!

Manager: Listen these were just made. either you take these or you get your money back.

Hispanic Guy: Give me my money back then.

My manager does the refund and steps the the side of the counter while Imani is getting the cash to give it back to Mr. I see him looking at her with this scowl on his face.

Imani: *puts the money on the counter* Heres your three dollars and twenty-five cents.

Hispanic Guy:...*pauses while he picks up his money from the counter*
You know what.. thats why Obama isn't going to win the election.

Imani: Okay...what does he have to do with me?... He's not putting no money in my pocket.

Hispanic Guy: because you people have no respec-

Imani: Thank you have a nice day. Don't forget you bag.

[FYI there was a crumpled up old McDonalds bag he had came in with and set it on the counter top lol]

Hispanic Guy: You Niggers have no respect.

Imani: WHAT YOU SAID!!??

Hispanic Guy: Niggers, Niggers have no respect.

Manager: You can leave now. *she shows him the door..all the while still calling us niggers cursing out my manager*

Imani was heated and everyone was like what happened what happened.


Anyway to put it plain and simple... I don't get how you can come into a McDonalds locateed in the bronx and have the audacity to say.."You Niggers need to have respect." When your a dirty ol' drunk Spanish bastard who lives right around the corner.

I mean when he said it I was like..."woah.. what this nigga on"
but it didn't really phase me. To a certain point you have to know when people are just ignorant.

I mean sure if somebody who looked like Mr.Rogers came in the store with his Mercedes parked outside and called us all Nigger McMuffins, then I would have been hurt.
I would've retaliated. i would've gotten fired or arrested or somethng.
But, your no better than us.
your spanish and to my knowledge. Your Black.
your not white or two shades from it. your spanish. and personally you better pray to God that Obama wins.

you think your so different from us because you speak a different language and come from an island.
I remeber I was in school and this girl was spanish like Dominican or something.
and her hair texture was that of black people
she really thought she could pull off that whole "wet and wavy thing" that most these spanish girls have going for them.

it looked like someone threw condition on coarse coochie hair.
when I asked her.. why don't you just get a relaxer.
"Ay No, thats for black people. I'm not black!!'

like she was so offended.

I'm like bitch. All your shit going to fall out.
and it did. and she still doing the same thing with whats left of her coochie hair.

but seriously. Get over yourself.

Puerta Ricans and Dominicans alike.
I mean you worship our culture. The hip-hop,
the sneakers, the mentality, the exterior. but when it comes right down to giving props. you wanna front like you knew bout it straight from the boat.
Im just saying.
people from Spain don't even consider you to be spanish.. or call yourself Latinos.

man fuck that.
Im a Nigger and your a nigger she's a nigger and he's a nigger. and apparently so is half the fucking world.

put it like this. when shit really hit the fan and its the majority versus the "minority" we all on the same boat.
Cazzarubiaz, Altagracia, Derwan, and Shaquasha.
try watching the 25th hour.
Still think your the shit and better?

SMH




Nas - Be A Nigger Too


still on a lighter note something to make you feel better


by. The Dark Rose

I DONT WANT TO TALK TO YOU

what what is it?

do i have a sign that says
"yes i want to talk to you"
or
"please burden my existence with 10 wasteful minutes of you spitting 'game' to me"
when in all that time i could've gotten home.

I'm so tired of the men on my block.

old ass afrika bambattaa, ll cool j, r.kelly muthafuks.

coming home from work and im walking home on the concourse.
I have my ipod blasting and i hear someone calling me.

my vision is fucked up and its dark but i keep on walking but the calling persist.
so i think maybe its someone i kno.
i stop and wait and to my foolishness it is someone i dont know.

and worse than that.
he's a old guy.
and he's facially impaired.

"Oh I just wanted to know your name. Cuz i see you around all the time but i never get to talk to you cuz u always got your headphones on."

.....o__o
you've seen me around. all the time?
i barely leave my house if not for work.
or hunger. and even then i have my minions do my bidding.

anyway i just dont understand it.
why do old men always want ot chat to me.
i mean

i know i look more mature than my age but really.

why why whyyyy
what would make you think i would even consider your old Uncle Ben looking ass ?
noooooooooo
i do not want to talk to you.
you cannot have my number
and i will not call if u give me yours.
.....
i should just spazz out one day.
,.night.

I Swear to ...

...

i swear my landlord is braindead.

I came home yesterday to find that this asscrust has installed a bar over our apartment building door..

i mean i heard construction earlier this morning but he actually went through with it.

let me explain this dude has fixed this door multiple times and yet and still he doesnt realize it wil be broken as soon as your gone.

before it just used to be a door and you just walk in.

then he installed a door that has to  have a lock and key.

which is fine.

but then he distributes one key per household and its $10 to get it remade.. just for one !

fuck that do you know what i can do with $10? 

 and on top of that fuckery the duchebag doesnt install an intercom system.. so just in case we dont have the key instead of beating down the door and all that jazz we can just get buzzed in.

its winter,

in NYC.

soo yea i wanna get inside my house ...with no heat so i can at least pull the covers over me.

like everyone else.

so the people outside broke it down.

the lock at least.

then Pjeter fixed it again.

they broke it

then they broke it again and he fixed it... again with no intercom.

so i finally thought he would buy the intercom after fixing mad locks.

but oh no.. the dookie head puts up a GATE!!

its a gate... in front of my goddamn door.

like a prison. a fucking Gate.. and

guess what ?!

it locks from the inside.

and the outside.

people can't get in or out without a key.

i came home last night like WTF??

:throws a broken ipod agaisnt a wall:

he such a dummas i swear to god why whyyyy 

do stupid shit over and over when u can just do one smart thing?

huh can someone plz explain??

so watever like i said they would've broken it down.

and they did.

they broke down the lock now we can get in and out.

Godforbidd there was a fire,..

how the fuck are we supposed to escape.

find the key in burning flames?

smh..

come on dummas.

Move Bitch....I mean really I have place to go

Sasha is M.I.A.
So I thought I would take this lovely opportunity to and introduce her first guest blogger.
Drum roll please or retarded motor boat sound or the slapping of the knee, watever you prefer...


Shoshannah (breasts sold separately)

Umm well Here's one of my old rants about the everyday things



Funny Moment...
I was waiting for the D train
I had my Ipod and my arms crossed, body language translation=Don't talk to me, for all you guys who think its the perfect cue to talk to a girl SMH

So its a bunch of people waiting,the train finally comes, blowing my extensions up almost showing my deception. The train doors open
and here's the shit that bugs me
Some fat white woman is in front and in the middle. So you can't slide through the sides. I just waited as she slowly enters the train and slowly scans for a seat...I mean slow
like no one else has to enter the train.
I don't know bout anyone else but that D train doesn't play around if your ass isn't on that train in 2 seconds after opening ur fucked.
But the thing that killed me was that the train car was empty like really "WTF R U LOOKING FOR? DO YOU SEE SOMETHING I DON'T? Why Jesus Why?"

We've all been there, these small little troubles in life that push people over the edge...


If I knew she was gonna hold me up like this I would push her in the tracks before the train came and saved everyone the trouble.

*Shoshannah [myspace.com/synonyx88]

P.S. You ever notice that when you really late and you have to get somewhere on the bus. Everyone that is in a wheelchair, old , disabled, etc wants to get on the bus too?
No Offense to anyone but I think they do it on purpose as if they know.... *creepy music*

Oh Ehm Gee >:o

It's sooo friggin stressful omg!!

:::sigh::: i have no idea what is happening...matter fact i do its just really making bug out that i have to go through this...again

I had wanted to write some more stuff when i came home from work last night, but so much has happened between that time and now its going to be impossible.

But I'll just some it up...
First some old stupid lady at McDonald's starts to spaz because she wants her fries and she don't want them to be cold.

So she comes to me and pays for a soder
. A sprite cost $1.08 cents
. Miss gives me $1.10 cents
. Now i know i wasn't all that great in math
and i never had been but let me explain.

I owed her 2 cents..the register i had had no pennies so i told her
"Miss I have no pennies"
she then hands over a Penney and says
"Okay here's a Penney now u owe me"

I'm looking at her like ..."huh?"
[in my mind I'm like...i owe u 3 pennies now, and i just told u i have no pennies..wtf]

So i go make her a sprite and give it to her...she looks at the sprite like its about to sprout wings and fly away then she looks at me like I'm slow.

"Where's my change?"
"Miss I told you I have no pennies...what do you want?"
"My change... I gave u a dime and another penny so where's my nickel"
.....*blank stare*
"What is wrong with this McDonald's!!?? I mean really I pay for fries I don't get, then I pay for a sprite and don't get any change.

By now the other co-workers are abandoning there work to see whats going on.

"Ma'am what are you talking about?" now if you know me and my facial expressions i really can't hide em so I'm really looking at this lady like she's brain dead.

"Where's my nickel gave you a dollar and 11 cents where's my nickel?"
"What on top of crappy service your workers don't know how to count?"

....


By this time I'm trying my best not to call this lady out so I'm just looking at her.
Its very hard to let someone know what it is when your GM and manager is sitting across from you.

So by this time my manager is asking whats going on and I'm like...
"I really don't know, this lady is about to bust a nut about a nickel that I don't owe her."
But whatever...

more and more drama to arrive...::oh boy::..